I know that was You

Omnipotence...

Supremacy- preeminence- the quality of having unlimited power- absolute power

As I am sitting here on a train that I was late for according to time

But was held for me to get home on- I am reminded of God's omnipotence. 

His supremacy. 

His absolute power. 

He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. 

But He doesn't do any of it to break our free will. 

As I was running to the train station because everything seemed to go wrong and time was of the essence- I prayed  "Lord- I need your help to make it to my train. Everything is going wrong all at once when time is of the essence. I trust you and am confident You will get Your daughter to the train on time. And if not- you have another plan. " 

I texted others to pray as well. 

The man scanning my ticket said- it's alright you have time and have a blessed night. 

I stopped and looked at him- tears filling my eyes- thank you for that. 

I often forget that God is omnipotent. 

He loves to defy the impossible- and in my life, He has proven that time and time again. 

Why do I forget? 

He can do whatever He wants- but never steps over the free will boundary. 

He desires so much to be with us and give us everything just as any parent would want and desire for their kid. But He knows giving it all at one time when we are inexperienced or immature would be detrimental to us. 

He is a good good Daddy

I sit comfortably in my seat on my train ride home very thankful that my Daddy is always watching me and He does not miss a thing. Be it ever so big or ever so small. 

Thank you God for being omnipotent and so watchful to your daughter

pray

I woke much earlier than I had panned. Slightly frustrated because I was so tired and only on day 2 of 4 nights to work. I laid my head back down to try to sleep a little longer.
As I was drifting off to sleep I rememeber asking, "Can you let me sleep a little longer God?"
All of a sudden I began seeing my dream play out before me...

I was in Africa again, standing on the hospital compound with many others around me. I could see the trucks & guns headed toward our small little town. My spirit jumped up, telling me- be ready, here they come.
I knew within me that these were like-minded people like the attackers in Kenya.
I watched as if it were all in slow motion & remember asking God- what do You want me to do? You have equipped me with training- how do You want me to react? The Israelites sought You in their time of need- and You gave them specific instructions of how to position themselves for peace & for fighting. So- I need to hear Your instructions.

"Pray"        was what I heard.

Knowing my earthly parents had become fervent prayer warriors for Christ, I looked down at my phone & texted my dad.

I love you. 
pray!

As the message was sent- my view began to zoom out and over to my dad.
He was at work- the hustle & bustle of another day dealing with the World's activities. The large room he was in was full of people, computers, monitor screens on the walls & desktops.
I watched him receive my text- his eyes filled with tears like he already knew what was happening in my part of the world. He looked up- dropped to his knees in the middle of this large work room & began to pray. People filling the room all stopped their business & turned their head to him. A few ran up to him & asked what was wrong. He said- "my daughter is in the middle of this war, she needs our prayers. Will you pray with me!"   People began dropping to the knees on the spot, praying out-loud & silently, they were weeping.
As the picture zoomed out- I saw every knee dropping to pray within this large room... then in the surrounding workrooms & offices... to the outside of the building... to the streets & other businesses... across states lines... stretching across America, people were dropping to their knees to pray.
I thought- how could this one act begin a wildfire reaction?
Then I remembered then impact of showing vulnerability through allowing others to see your hearts greatest desire- love.

As I woke up, tears were streaming down my face. Oh God! If this begins the wildfire of people surrendering to You- let it be! At whatever the cost!

I was hit with the reality of what was happening outside of my comfortable little world in Lancaster, PA. In America really.
The reality of what I was going to in a month hit me. I felt the Lord asking- "Are you really willing to die for Me?"
The unrest in Africa and other parts of the world is not know to me or many others accept through the media. And that in and of itself is very biased & slightly skewed. But being hit with the reality of what could take place while I was in Africa was very eye opening. It was a heart check.
Would you be willing to die for Christ?

I was on the floor weeping at this point. My thoughts went to those families who were mourning the loss of their loved ones. How their hearts were breaking- it felt as if mine was too.
Then He moved my thoughts to those who were doing the actions. I did not question why or how could they or stop them from killing people, but my heart broke even more for them. Lord- how can we change there minds?
"Pray"
The impact of pray is given such little light because we may not see immediate results. But I know that He hears & remembers each & every prayer. He is answering some of mine that were prayed 20 years ago. He is answer some my parents prayed when they were first pregnant with my brother & I. Just as He heard the prayers of David & Abraham & Jacob & so many more- they are still being answered.

I began praying for the people in Kenya who felt it was their job to remove any followers of Christ. I began to pray for any person who does not know my Jesus.
In my wailing for their lives, I said- YES! YES GOD! I would die for you Jesus! Just don't let my family mourn too long. But that they would rejoice knowing that this is what You created me for. To die believing & trusting & following, never wavering in The One who gave His life so willing for me thousands of years ago.
We forget that Christ warned us of this. God gave us Scripture as a guide & it tells us persecution is coming. Why are we surprised by it?
We live in such an unrealistic world in America, where we have our little lives, going to & fro, setting God in a box, often on the shelf, & only staying within our comfort zones & what pleases us.

As my travailing continued, I said, I am not afraid. Death for the believer is so sweet. To see You face to face finally. But I know it is not time yet. I will go wherever You want me to. I will do whatever You want me to- at whatever the cost, even if it cost me my life. I have yielded everything to You, but I yield my soul- my spirit to You God. I am fully Yours.

My scripture for the day was 1Timothy 6:11-19. A few of the verses caught me...
>Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before witnesses... that you obey this command without wavering... do good, be rich in works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate. Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.<

Live with unshakable faith. Kling to eternal life. Sure up your foundation in Christ. Be ready at all times to tell others. Obey- even when it's hard.

I went to Easter service that night at CFC. I was floored at what God was taught through the sermon...
Learn from Jesus.
In Matthew, it speaks about Jesus' last words to The Father.
After being persecuted physically, rejected by ALL, He emptied himself- He gave up His spirit to God.


How amazingly faithful God is to me. Allowing me to process yielding the last portions of myself to Him well before my time is up. Being crucified with Christ as Paul said.
It stirs in me to pray. That even in the business of my day I can be in prayer within my spirit for others.
The enemy has so many of us at bay by distracting us throughout our day. We must fight to hold tightly to true faith. Fighting each moment of everyday so that we do not have divided loyalty between God & the world.

Pray without ceasing
He hears your every word

Africa 2015

Hello Family & Friends

It’s that time again… update time!

 

Life has certainly changed for me.  Just a short update…

Three years ago, I began pursuing God very intently after hearing Him tell me “I have more for you.” Within the often-difficult walk of obedience and lifestyle changes, much outside of my control changed with it. After 2 years of waiting, God released me out from under a broken covenant and marriage; along with selling our house & all items in it; and settled me at my friend Jasmine’s. Here God has allowed me to heal, be unattached, & learn some valuable lessons. 

After 2 years of short-term (2week) missions- medical & non-medical, I began seeking God for what He wanted me to do next in my life. I felt as if He was asking me- “are you serious about missions… then connect with a group.” 

So I applied to World Medical Missions. Within one day I was flooded with many options of international placements with my unique skill set. At the same time I was praying about going back to Africa this summer. As I was praying about staying in the Open Heart Operating Room, God opened the door for new things.

 

WMM had multiple options for me to serve, but one in particular… India. I felt as if God was opening doors that were much bigger than I could ever expect or imagine. WMM had a special project they wanted to slot me with… teaching cardiac ICU in India for 3-6months. Two days after I said yes, my old job called and asked if I wanted to return to the Intensive Care Unit- cardiac & general medsug. I felt as if God was preparing me for things yet unseen. All the details in His hands, I made the move back to ICU and am waiting for the details of India & other adventures to be revealed. 

With all that said… God has allowed for me to go back to Egbe, Nigeria to help in the Operating Room with 2 different surgical groups this summer.

 I will be departing for Africa May 14 and return June 27^th. 

Once I return, I will be attending a Missionary Medical Intensive course in British Columbia, Canada July 5^th till July 16^th. The course will teach me how to use the resources and materials at hand in rural areas such as plants for medicinal uses, minor procedures without much supplies, and much more. I will be a “make shift all you have for now doctor nurse."

 

I am so excited to be going back to Egbe, Nigeria with a different mindset and heart. God is so kind to allow me to assist the doctors, surgeons, nurses, and people of Egbe in their continued Revitalization project. I know there is much in store while I am there. I am traveling with my long time mentor and friend, Carmen Marflak, who has been traveling to Egbe doing anesthesia for years. 

 

I am in need of prayer.  This year has been one where God continues to say- trust Me with the details. He has always made good out of every situation- so I do not doubt Him in any of it. I am in need of financial help. With this being a much longer trip, it means more expenses for the trip itself. The total cost of the trip is roughly $4000. If you feel led to support financially- I am grateful. There are a few ways you can donate for my trip. One is directly to me via check- April Johnson 1018 Marshall Ave, Lancaster, Pa 17601. Or you can do an online deposit to my Samaritan’s Purse account- http://www.samaritanspurse.org/medical/wmm-doctors/   type in my name as the volunteer (Johnson, April) and follow the prompts. You will receive a tax paper for the donation that way. 

Please pray about donating, about supporting me in future trips, & pray for me to continue God’s work here in the US as well as in other nations He sends me. 

There will be updates while I am there, and a report when I return. 

 

I am ecstatic that God has chosen me for this work and set the skills He wanted within me. He is answering prayers of a once 10 year old girl, who after one short clip on medical missions from Haiti, was hooked. I am so grateful for your support and prayers. 

Thank you all 

God bless 

 

April  

It is Good

Thank you God...

For my life 

That even though none of it has turned out the way I thought or planned- it is good. 

As I sit on the couch in my roommates house, reflecting- this place is for now my home. The place were I find rest. These people are my family. 

Thank You God 

For some of the people I thought who would be in my life a little longer or forever- I thank you for them. For the ways they impacted my life and I theirs. 

for the ones who are added to my life daily and for those who have always been there... I thank you God. 

For the ones who have yet to enter and will walk with me in my journey- I thank you. 

You are a good good Father. 

And I will praise you for ALL that have done and allowed to occur because it is good! 

I think back at the what seemed to be horrific moments and words said- which are just memories now.  

Awestruck at how those moments made me lean in ever harder and stronger. 

Tonight as I attended the first memorial service of a young patient I took care of, I found myself reflecting on all the care I provided or words spoken and time spent with them. 

Was it enough?

Did I really impact them?

Did I show You in me? 

And hearing Him securely say with confidence- "you did good April. You sang to me in the moments when they needed to hear my voice"

It makes me very aware of eternity. 

And with a heavy heart I am reminded so many don't know where they will spend it. 

No life is worth not asking or pouring in to or spending time with for Him. 

I am made very aware of my purpose as a nurse often taking care of people at their last moments of life. And every believer's purpose- which is...

 "Do they know Me?"

When Christ said with His last breaths on the cross- that THEY would be with me- it wasn't a cry or plea, it was a directive. It was a mission. It was a purpose. Our purpose. Just as His short life on Earth was-  His purpose was made very clear. 

"Do they know Me?"

Christ made the declaration for us as a Body, as a Church, as followers and imitators of Him- to make sure they know Him. 

How? 

Not to force 

Not to shove 

But to love 

Love will win every time- even though it may not be immediate. 

I thank You God for the opportunity to see my purpose play out in a few moments affecting one persons life. And I thank You for more of these moments that You will allow me to be apart of and the people to affect. 

What a great task and what a privilege we as followers of Christ have to impact the world as He, our Lord and Savior, has asked us to do. 

Thank You...
 for Your patience and grace with me, through the waiting and processing for me to GET IT. 

Trusting while in the land between

Who is your source of life ? Upon whom will you depend? 

Dependence on God is vital for what is to come. 

You have the propensity to gripe when you feel uncomfortable or harsh conditions. Respond in faith. .. Trust Him 

Are you allowing yourself to be disciplined and trained by the hardships you experience so that you can live in greater dependence on God? Are you completely surrendered to God? 

The land between can be one that is short or one that lasts for a while. 

Just as the Israelites experienced- the history of their journey was given to us by God so we would not make the same long drawn out mistakes. 

God is after something that you may be missing. 

Ask Him... 

Seek Him for His answers which are always good and right. 

Just remember- it may not always be how we pictured. 

He is the All Sufficient. 

Trust Him 

Complain- to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event; to fuss. 

We know the Israelites complained, they doubted, they strayed. As we all have. But what we forfeit when choosing to complain is the opportunity to become a person of faith. 

With each difficulty or issue or stride in life, God is whispering "will you trust me?" 

"Don't be acclimated to the world of idolatry, but formed by the character & presence of God."

To God... Complaints amount to a rejection of Him. 

You can be honest with Him but don't cross into the land of complaint. 

The desert is not the final destination but rather the necessary middle where you will be formed into His daughter or son & be established in your connection to God. 

Trust Him...

His heart, your heart

Your love God, cannot be contained. It pours- overflows onto us.
Whatever the season may be- season of laughter, mourning, loss, gain...- He is singing over you. Singing how much He loves you.
There is no max of how much He loves; there is no thing that would change how much He loves you.
He longs to hear you say, "I love you."
He leaps and looses His breath when you give your heart wholely to Him, over hearing you say you love Him.
He gasps at the sound of your voice, your gaze at Him. He is overcome by it.

You long to hear His heartbeat- how much more He longs to hear your heartbeat... your heart beating with His- in sync- one in the same- unidentifiable of whose is whose.
Beating as one, you & He- together.
That is how He meant it. That is how He designed it.
If He created you after His own image- this means His heart is in you. His purpose was to walk with you, hand in hand, heart in heart, no step taken out of order,
The original design.
What was the purpose of giving you His heart?
Jesus' inheritance is your heart.

What happened?

I find myself standing at the foot of the bed, looking on as the surgeon is cutting open different parts of the heart.
The lifeless heart- cold, unmoving- held in the hands of the surgeon, the surgical tech, & the physicians assistant.
symbolic threesome???
Each heart has a different problem- dissection, dilation, clog, placque, dead tissue, no electrical circuit firing.
Each heart needing mending in a different way- in the natural & the supernatural.

Why are our hearts so filthy, so bruised & broken & sick?
Because we have defiled them- we have given our hearts to other things or people.We have given our hearts over to the one who is against everything of God.
We have robbed Jesus of His inheritance.
Family lines have generational tasks or purposes that have been incomplete for years, some for centuries.
Why do you think some diseases are hereditary, passed down like high cholesterol or diabetes or cancer, just to name a few?
Generational strongholds.
These things can be broken off & mended.


He is in the business of healing hearts. His priority is to glorify His Son- whom He sent- who chose to sacrifice His life for you.
His heart overflows with neverending bloodflow to wash over each of our hearts.
How?

Love


But the greatest of these is love.
God is love.
Jesus loved us that much. The greatest form of love is sacrifice of life.
If His blood heals all- I want it flowing through my heart & body- every crevice of me.
What about you?

back in the waiting room

0545 this morning, I began my drive to work this morning. Having been in an odd funk or feeling for the last several days- I had yet to put words to what was going on.

The sun peaked over the clouds, painting the sky multiple shades of orange, pink, & purple.

I thought... this is no warning to sailors- this is God's canvas He has began so early in the morning.

 

Thank You, God for Your beautiful paintings that never look the same.

 

I thought of how He is a constant, yet every changing God. Constant in know He loves me, He will never leave me, He will never forsake me, He will discipline me when needed, He will hold me & heal me when needed, YET, He is always changing because He is so creative. Always creating things on this earth, in me, all around me.

How can this be???

My small capacity of brain & intellect cannot figure it out- but... I receive that You are always changing yet always constant. And I thank You.

So- as I made the turn onto 283- I remember my eyes filling with tears.

Why?? What is wrong with me??

I have everything I  could ever need & joy beyond belief, yet I have tears flowing down my face.

Why God? Why am I crying? You know me better than I know myself- tell me please why I feel this way, what is happening to me.

I am haunted by the inability to focus on things beyond my daily activities.

I am frustrated & tired & itching at the seams to run!

Why cant I run yet???

Why cant I sit still and wait with You?

Didn't I just learn how to do this? Didn't I just get through this, yet here it is again?

Why?

Why haven't you sold my house? Why have you put me in a new job that takes me completely out of my comfort zone? Why cant I begin to save money for the move I know is coming?

Why?! Why?! Why?!

Then... just in that moment- a car goes speeding by me. Knowing the speed limit all the way to Harrisburg is 65mph with some road work areas- I am pushing 70mph- he was going 80-85mph.

As his car flashed by me- I stated out loud in my car (like he would hear me, haha)...
"oh my word! how impatient people in the US are. I guess it isn't just in the US- it's everywhere. Why are they in such a hurry to get to where they are going?"
DING!!!!
dang it!!!
I heard- "hmmm, that's you April.

the feeling of dejection & frustration came over me- wow! If that wasn't for me...
Thank you Holy Spirit for Your revelations.

That speeding car was a reminder that I am hurrying to get to the next place
I may know the next destination- but only He knows what the road is like up ahead, what curves or traffic are ahead of me.

Repentant heart- I began to pray & cry & praise Him.

What an amazing Daddy You are- that You see what is ahead, You give me glimpses of potential things to come, You know that I am imperfect & will fail so many times, You know that I am impatient beyond belief, You know that I want to dabble my hands in the cookies before they are cooked- and yet...
You pick me up, You set me down in the perfect garden, You wait for me to wait for You.

Thank You- that You are willing to create in me (constantly) a newness, a wholeness, qualities and attributes that You want to last, & beauty greater than the physical.
Thank You Abba, for loving me that much....