I opened the window shade to find a sea of white- a
beautiful landscape of open sky & sunshine. The clouds lay as a massive
down comforter with a few large pillows in the distance. It was peaceful up
here. Almost as a far away land we rarely visit.
I felt like a child seeing the clouds for the first time.
When time was spent lying in the grass looking up at what cloud creatures God
was drawing together for me- a dinosaur, a bird, a ship, a dragon. The list
seemed to never end in our child like minds.
As we started our decent, it looked as if we were skirting
the clouds like birds just above the water in search of fish. It made time
stand still. All I could think was ‘this is a mere glimpse of the beauty of heaven
& what God sees everyday.’ Eternity in child-like minds, child-like faith, child-like
imaginations… forever in awe of Him, with nothing to distract or take away from
it; forever without the pain & brokenness of life.
We dipped into the clouds like watching cotton candy
circling around before it sticks to its holder & is passed off to be
consumed.
This land of white puffy clouds- unable to see ahead of me,
around me, behind me… isn’t this where He wants me to be always with Him-
trusting His eyes, His leading, His way?
The clouds thinned & the sun disappeared only to prove
that rain & grey winter was very present. The land of mortality, reality
awaits me.
Why not keep this child-like image going, why not include it
in your day to day.
How is more of the question I ask.
How do I live each day with Your mind, Your thoughts, Yours
actions, Your life as my life? How can I remain with you while on this earth?
I immediately go back to the study I am in throws with—The
Broken Way. I am discovering that it is the only way to live. As hard as it is,
it is also very simple.
I re-read the words, “Why do you people always say it’s
about having a strong belief in God? Who sits with the knowing that God’s
belief in you is even stronger than yours in Him? You may believe in God, but
never forget—it’s God who believes in you. Every morning that the sun rises
& you get to rise, that’s God saying He believes in you, that He believes
in the story He’s writing through you. He believes in you as a gift the world
needs.”
The land of endless clouds- of quiet- of light- of this
reminder that He believes in me more than I in Him—it reminds me that ‘His
mercies are new every morning- not as an obligation to me, but as an
affirmation of me.’
“A bruised reed he will not break, & a smoldering wick
he will not snuff out.”(Isaiah 42:3)
“For he remembered that we are merely mortal, gone like a
breath of wind that never returns.” (Psalm 78:39)
His mercies are seen very clearly & quietly while in the
clouds—now just to believe it & live it daily below the clouds where it
really matters.
Do I live my life like I fully believe that?
How do I believe in Jesus in a way that Jesus believes in
me?
As the plane landed & parked, people frantically grabbing
their items & bags, ready to rush off the plane & on to the next thing- I swallowed hard, trying not to forget this moment-
this present reality of God with me, stirring me. And I laugh as I fold the
book I am studying in my bag… for such a time when reality is hard &
healing is needed, You will not let me forget what I so desperately need, &
what You so desperately want me to believe.
