Sunday, June 14, 2015


Miracle… an event not explicable by natural or scientific laws

Is our picture off? Have we managed to place the expectation or outcome of a miracle in a box? Have we westernized it?
I read of the many miracles in scripture & I wish to see miracles like this.
But what if I am missing the miracles right in front of my face?

I was sitting in the OR last night manually breathing for a 2month old baby who had no respiratory effort of his own. As I was sitting there I began to ask God…
If you want this little boy to have life here on this earth, God, You are going to have to do a miracle
I began to sing softly… not knowing if he could hear me… but I knew God was listening.
Each puff of air I provided I kept asking and expecting this lifeless body to make an improvement.
God- be merciful!

His heart rate so high and not much more that we could do
I sang louder to praise God for who He was, all He has done, & for this little boy’s life
I looked up and saw him breathing in between my puffs of air… He was making some effort! He moved his arm slightly!
I laid my hand on his little belly- praying & singing
God- this little life you have placed in my hands is trying hard to live- He is yours- only You can create life and only You can take it- I praise You that You have allowed me to see Your breath in his lungs. No matter what You decide for this little life- I will praise You. I will trust You. You are good & there is no one like You. Only You know the number of days for each of us, Only You know what each future holds, each breath we breathe. I will sing of Your goodness and mercy…

His love, His mercy, His miracles may look different each time.
As dawn approached, Carmen & I took our post for the next few hours. We did not know what today was going to bring for us or for this little boy… another surgery, recovery, death, life…
We prayed for God’s will to be done, thanking Him for the day, & what it would hold.

His heart rate began to suddenly decrease quickly
 still breathing for this little boy, compressions were started…

Carmen & I looked at each other… a glimpse of peace came over us…
He was with Jesus now
No longer having to fight for life
But living eternal life with his Father

We question- why after all that work would You take him?
I don’t understand God’s ways or thinking at times, but I know without a shadow of doubt that He is good & His ways & thoughts are higher than mine… and I trust that… I trust Him.
The work was not for nothing- whether for someone to draw closer to God, for someone to see the hard work or angst from us, for someone to experience or watch teamwork happen… I do not know.
But what I do know, is that God allowed each of us to be touched and changed by this little boys life…
his name was Miracle
 that indeed was what he was
God’s Miracle


What most leave behind when they die
I had the pleasure to discover the power behind legacy when I visited a local Egbe school in Nigeria.
Listening to a little of the backstory of the school & essentially the man, I began to see legacy in its finest moment.
Children running every direction- playing, laughing, singing… when their path came across that of the man- honor was given. As I watched, I noticed it was not out of fear but out of reverence. Some of the smaller children even ran to hold his hand and just be near him, others just wanted to come say hi.
So many children… so much love
I remember hearing Isaiah 54: 2-3… “Enlarge the place of your rent, stretch out your tent curtains wide, do not hold back, lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left, your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.”
This is exactly what this man was doing. He told me that parents would bring their children & the money for tuition and tell him, “My child must come to school there.” He would say there is no room. “It’s fine, they must go to your school because it is the best.”
With the capacity to hold 300 students in the school for classes, there were 350 students in attendance, with half of them boarding from far away from their families and home.
His tent curtains were spread out wide for sure. But he continually said- God provides everyday for these children. With his own children grown & gone, this man & his wife are parents to so many other children.
I love the image I captured in my mind when a little girl would ran up to him, grabbed his hand, show honor to him with a bow, and said, “hi”, then ran on about her day. I watched this man respond to this little girl like a daddy responds to his little girl.
My heart melted…
This is the picture of God, our Daddy. He loves for us to be running about our busy day & stop for a moment, show Him honor & say “hi”
what a simple act…
that melts the heart of The Father every time

Saturday, June 6, 2015

What would you do?

As I am singing, “great are You Lord,” I am suddenly aware of how I have the freedom to shout praises to You- singing from the depths of my soul to You.
What if I couldn’t?
How many don’t have that freedom?
I express every day how I feel about You, some better than others. But what if I couldn’t? It is hard at times to find the words to express the joy He gives me accept through tears.
What if I could not express my joy, my gratitude, my love, my adoration, my heart about You God?
What would you do if you couldn’t express it? What if you knew that your life would end if people found out you were madly in love with Jesus? Would you still praise Him? Would you still worship Him? Would you still believe? Would you still follow?
Would you still dance the streets for Him? Would you still meet with others to learn more about Him? Would you still sing to Him?
Would you still say the name of Jesus?

We sing “all this is for You Jesus,” but in reality, what do we have for Jesus that He does not already have?
What do you have that is worth it to Him?
Is it your acts of service or words of endearment or you money?
Do you know?
Do you know it is you?
It is your heart.
It is your life
It is your love.
It is your gaze.
Our small capacities of love for Jesus & our minuet expressions of love for Him- move Him.
The One who created all things, has all power, all authority- you child, move Him.
He tells the angels in heaven to hush when you sing to Him, when you speak to Him, when you look at Him.
Accept it.
Stand tall before your King with hands held high in awe that He loves you to love Him.

But the question still remains… would you still say the name of Jesus- even if your life depended on it?

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Prayer Round

Tonight was weekly prayer rounds at the hospital. Each time I go, I am a little more excited, but also slightly intimidated.  Will I pray the right things? Will I be bold enough for You Jesus? What if someone doesn’t understand English? What if they don’t want us to pray? What if I don’t hear Your voice? What if?
All of these insecurities & questions flood my mind. Meant to stop me in my tracks.
They do not succeed.
“My strength comes from the Lord.”
Each bed we stop at we are met with smiles, greetings, thanks, handshakes, & even “hold my baby.” All stirring my heart even more & reminding me why I love being a nurse & a follower of Christ.
We meet a couple where the wife has a ruptured appendix, most likely. We are getting to know the couple- where are you from, how many kids, ect. “Six babies & from 2 hours away, & we are Muslim.” We asked if we could pray for her & if she knew who Jesus was. As Jesus was being explained to her, I could see the frustration on all of our faces & felt it in my spirit due to the language barrier.
“Just pray” was what I heard.
So I did so.
I love those moments when you feel the Holy Spirit lifting every ounce of fear, insecurity, doubt, & discouragement. All at one- His words start pouring out peace in the atmosphere.
Lord, we come to you, thanking you for being God. That even though we are frustrated due to language barriers- we are reminded that you are the God who is not bound by language or time or power. That you know our hearts. That you speak all languages. That you speak the language of the heart. You know our hearts, Lord, & our desire that others would come know you too…

I was reminded while I was praying that it is not my job to create understanding & depth & the ah ha moment.
You want more than I could ever desire, for all hearts to long for & respond after you. And it is You who gives revelation, stir hearts, answer prayers, open blind eyes, heal sick, & raise dead.
Because You are God & You are good.
A Bible on a patient’s bed was open to Psalms 126. It was in Yoruba, so we could not read it until we were home.  We talked of singing a joyful song to God on our walk home & I as very grateful He was in control.
Psalm 126 reads…

When the Lord restored the fortunes of[a] Zion,
    we were like those who dreamed.[b]
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
    our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
    “The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us,
    and we are filled with joy.
Restore our fortunes,[c] Lord,
    like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow with tears
    will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
    carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
    carrying sheaves with them.


That’s God.